Sometimes at night

Sometimes at night when I am holding you

I see the face of the man you will become

The angle of your cheek

The o of your mouth

Tell me your future

More than the palm of your hand

Sometimes it is as though I am holding an adult in my arms

Instead of the child I would protect with my life

Moments or minutes later

Your face returns to its soft childishness

Plump skin and lips and cheeks

I see him still

My son the man

I can't believe you're mine and I get to keep you

Kamikaze tears leap from my eyes
Drawn by the gravity of your face
Your hot chubby hand
Fingers curled around my thumb
"I love you. Don't leave me"
Whispered into uncomprehending ears
I watch the rise and fall of your chest
You are the centre of my world.

With every breath I know
I want you to mourn my death one day
I want you to outlive me
I kiss you
I can't believe you're mine and I get to keep you.